Late Night Humor

Observations from Mr. Leno:
-- The CIA has a new lead on the whereabouts of Osama bin Laden. They think he may be hiding out in an empty theater showing the movie, "Poseidon”.
-- President Bush has proposed sweeping immigration changes; which is pretty amazing when you consider that before he became president, Bush thought immigration was the sincerest form of flattery.
-- Former President Bill Clinton has just signed another book deal. We have an advanced copy. Hand me that will you? (drop-in screen: book title, "The Five People You Meet Under My Desk”

From Mr. Letterman:
-- Hillary Clinton says that in her spare time she likes to download iTunes. We all know that in his spare time Bill likes to download interns.
-- The Tony nominations are out. The Oprah thing, "The Color Purple” has been nominated for 12 Tony’s. I’m thrilled, it’s nice to see something finally going Oprah’s way.
-- Speaking of Tony’s a new musical is opening up about Vice President Cheney. It’s called "Cheney Get Your Gun”.
-- Talk about an ordeal. Yesterday Senator Ted Kennedy was on an aircraft up here in the northeast and it was hit by lightning. They landed, luckily no one was hurt. But then he had to ride home from the airport with his son Patrick.

From Mr. Conan O'Brian:
-- The State of Texas is considering raising speed limits on some roads to 80 miles per hour. This is so illegals can get to work faster.
-- "A new study reveals that guests on daytime talk shows are predominantly female. Of course, most of them weren't born that way."